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Morte? Surpresa!

por 19/08/2011 23 comentários

A Lu, que faleceu esta semana, faria aniversário dia 19 de agosto.
Praticante budista, ela ajudava a coordenar o CEBB de Porto Alegre.

Na revista Bodisatva nos presenteou com as divertidíssimas “Caraminhocas”, na seção que me parece ser a cara da Lu:”Vida Leve”, leia o texto e entenda por que.

Morte? Surpresa!

Tenho duas notícias para te dar: uma boa e outra ruim. Qual tu preferes ouvir primeiro? A ruim? Então, tá. É assim…

Aqui no sul a temperatura muda bruscamente. E, como a maioria de nós mora em espaços pequenos, toda mudança de estação traz consigo o ritual da arrumação do guarda roupa. Sobem as roupas de inverno e descem as roupas de verão, vice versa no próximo solstício ou equinócio. Só que como clima não obedece calendário, muito menos nossas vãs tentativas de organização doméstica, sempre acontece de você precisar de algum artigo que está lá em cima, lá no fundo ou lá embaixo de uma pilha desequilibrada, algo assim desajeitado. Então, agora vem a historinha triste. Estou me vestindo, apressada para não me atrasar. Já escolhi a saia, a blusa, acessórios, ainda falta o calçado. Avalio que a bota de camurça cinza combina. Abro a porta do armário, olho, procuro e no meio de sandalinhas e chinelinhos de verão (maldito frio fora de época! ) não chego a ver a bota, mas vislumbro a tirinha de camurça na beirinha da prateleira bem de cima. É uma destas botas molinhas com tirinhas que amarram na perna. Na pressa, não penso muito, me estico toda, alcanço a pontinha da tira, puxo e ….

Surpresa! Sapatada, bem na testa! (Tem uma história zen de um aluno que se ilumina ao receber uma sapatada de seu mestre, mas não, não tenho tantos méritos, ainda não foi desta vez) Estúpida! Eu sei, é uma palavra muito forte e muito feia, mas é perfeita para definir como me senti. Estúpida. Na verdade, acho que os mestres espirituais são compassivos em não usar frequentemente esta palavra com seus discípulos, porque, convenhamos, em alguns momentos da nossa caminhada, é um adjetivo muito apropriado para descrever nosso comportamento.

Mas, falando sério agora: no exato momento em que aconteceu, tive uma experiência importante. Uma certeza, nítida e real, de que já havia tido esta mesma sensação em algum momento de morte. Uma espécie de regressão, algo assim.

Como é que não vi que isto ia acontecer? Era evidente que as chances de vir tudo abaixo eram enormes. Caíram não só as botas, mas quase toda a prateleira de sapatos de inverno. Pesados. Por acaso eu esperava que a bota fosse pairar suavemente aos meus pés? Distraída.E a morte nem é questão de probabilidade, é pior que bota na testa. É certa. Então esta é a notícia ruim: A morte pode ser uma surpresa.

Algum tempo depois, numa noite de prática no CEBB, contei este incidente e a facilitadora Nazaré, com compaixão e sabedoria, comentou que não precisa ser necessariamente assim. Podemos nos preparar para o momento da morte.

Isto me faz pensar e recordar uma outra experiência recente.
Numa semana de Agosto, estou trabalhando no escritório, aguardando uma reunião agendada para o meio da tarde. Estou concentrada no computador e nem reparo numa certa agitação no ambiente. Meu chefe entra afobado e chama da porta: “-vamos que eles já estão aí.” Pego agenda, caneta e vou descendo o corredor até a sala de reuniões. Vejo alguns colegas entrando apressados na sala, mas acho tudo normal. Meu ambiente de trabalho é meio caótico mesmo.

Entro na sala e: SURPRESA! Festa de aniversário surpresa! E bota surpresa nisto! Tímida, paraliso, oscilo e vagarosamente dou um passo para trás. O pessoal me segura: “não foge, não!” Então, relaxo naquele momento maravilhoso, olhando a cara de travessos daqueles quarentões com os olhos brilhando como crianças. Balões, bolos, refrigerantes, docinhos. Coloco aos mãos em prece e faço uma reverência. Muito lindo. Abraços e beijos e palavras carinhosas. Mais tarde fico sabendo dos detalhes. Eles estavam se divertindo, organizando e planejando a festa há dias! Arrecadando contribuições, encomendando bolo, assoprando balões. Presentes. Tudo com o maior cuidado para não arruinar a surpresa: falando baixinho, usando o telefone da outra sala. Eles quase tiveram que cancelar na última hora porque faltou gasolina na caminhonete que entregava os docinhos. E a alegria deles era quase maior que a minha. Aliás, a alegria era de todos e não tinha tamanho nem dono. Maravilhoso, mesmo!

Quem sabe podemos enxergar os budas e bodisatvas trabalhando numa orquestra amorosa para amparar os seres o tempo todo e também no momento da morte desta mesma maneira? Se a gente ajudasse praticando com dedicação durante a vida, ainda melhor. Então, para terminar de uma forma otimista, a notícia boa: A morte pode ser uma surpresa!

*A pintura da Tara Verde acima do texto é parte da thangka  pintada pela Luisa.

Leia outros textos de Luisa Levandowski.

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Luisa é uma leonina com ascendente em Capricórnio que não consegue mais se levar tão a sério... e acha isto um alívio! É torcedora fanática do CEBB Porto Alegre. | Leia outros posts de


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23 comentários »

  • vanessa disse:

    ô luisa…saudade. que bom que eu e as crianças convivemos contigo!

  • Ana Carmen Castelo Branco disse:

    Que pena que não a conheci pessoalmente! Deve ter sido uma pessoa maravilhosa, pois deixou textos igualmente maravilhosos. Como digo, ainda com o hábito arraigado na infância, que Deus a tenha, mas numa Terra Pura!

  • teresa bessil disse:

    Luisa é uma querida!sorriso lido que fica conoscom inspirando nossa prática nessa aventura de vida e morte.

  • Daniel disse:

    Me sinto afortunado de poder ter convivido, mesmo que por pouco tempo, com uma pessoa tão linda… uma nova vida feliz e os desejos mais auspiciosos… fica a inspiração tua com a gente.

  • Jaqueline disse:

    Minha querida amiga Lu, eu realmente espero que tu saibas da tua importancia em minha vida. Um texto lindo digno de uma pessoa linda!

  • cla disse:

    Oi Luzinha, minha amiga espiritual.
    Foi adorável conviver contigo aqui no cebb – apesar dos puxões de orelhas sempre merecidos.
    Espero que continues com todas esta paciência comigo e possas continuar me orientando de ondew estiveres,
    carinho imenso, vc sabe.
    ;Cla

  • laura garmano disse:

    grata, sou mto grata, Lu
    grata por ter t conhecido, por termos tido ótimas conversas…
    sempre me impressionaste pela tua lucidez
    seguimos juntas, cada uma no seu bardo…
    eu daqui sigo juntinha de ti em minhas práticas, t ofereço as bençãos e os méritos de todas elas
    gratidão da amiga laura

  • meris disse:

    existem seres especiais, cheios de luz, sabedoria, força, otimismo, amor…,….,…
    Luisa sem dúvida é uma delas. Que bom que fomos abençoadas com a sua presença próxima a nós!
    Gratidão e afeto
    Meris

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